Denise waking up

I got a smile today!
Things are really flying right now. They reduced and then stopped the sedative yesterday (Avastin). Early this morning, Denise's dad called to say she was opening her eyes. I rushed over to the hospital, and she is slowly coming out of the mother of all hangovers. When I went in the room, she gave a small smile (and then promptly passed out). She's struggling to keep eyes open, trying to speak (impossible with the tracheostomy), move limbs, etc. She's able to follow simple command (stick out your tongue, open your mouth, move your foot, etc.). At one point, a nurse was looking at a wedding picture that's stuck to the wall and asked how old Denise was when she was married. Her mom said "23 or 24," and Denise weakly mouthed "twenty-four" immediately (ding-ding, correct answer!). Overall, she's in a haze, having hard time getting used to all the new tubes & needles. She must feel kind of clueless, like Keanu Reeves was in the Matrix, when he woke up with all those weird hoses (you're probably reading this and saying, "Uh, Phil, when ISN'T Keanu Reeves clueless in a movie?").

They started her on a new antibiotic yesterday called Tygracil. Really new. So new, the pharmacist hadn't heard of it. So new, a Google search only brought up one result just now. There was a blood thinner (Heparin?) started yesterday, then discontinued in prep for removing some fluid from Denise's pelvic region today. It was similar to an amniocentesis, but with a different target (I can't remember the name of the procedure... post a comment if you can think of it, please). They used ultrasound to guide the needle and avoid damaging anything. I don't know if they've started the blood thinner again or not at this time. The hematologist said that the blood is stable. So it ain't great, but at least it hasn't gotten worse. Her protein requirements are through the roof (200 compared to the normal 70). Hopefully, today's fluid draw will shed some light on the fevers, the blood use (her spleen's enlarged due to busting down so much blood), and give the team of doctors a good idea of what to do next. Denise also developed another pneumothorax today (we knew this was a risk as long as she was hooked up to the vent). Doesn't seem to be nearly as big as the first one. The doctor decided to leave the lung tube in from the previous one, so it's coming in pretty handy right now.

Denise's fever has been in the 101 range all day. We were happy to see that, since it had been in the 104 range for a few days. I got some encouraging insight from the neurologist yesterday. I was worried about the high temp causing brain damage. He said that it shouldn't be much of a concern. Apparently, the high temp is one part of the trouble, the other part is dehydration. No problem there. Denise is plenty filled up with fluid. Even at that, the heart is what to be worried about before any neurological problems. He said that when there are heat waves, the biggest risks are the elderly (I already knew that) and alcoholics. The elderly tend to have less of a perceived thirst, so they tend to get very dehydrated. Alcoholics drink plenty and get filled with fluid, but it's not the same as being hydrated with water.

Overall, it's been nice to see Denise waking up. Please bear in mind, though, that she's still sick enough to stay in the critical care section. She's still got quite an infection, blood concerns, and something else going on that they hope to figure out from today's fluid draw.

I'm still obsessing about what to say to Denise about losing the baby. Nobody's going to need to tell her it's happened. I just don't know what to do next. It's very frustrating to not quite be able to read her lips yet (movements are very weak). Her mom was pretty sure that Denise was mouthing the word "baby" shortly before the nurse asked us to leave so they could clean up Denise.

Today's episode of Purpose Driven Life said that "God doesn't waste a pain." Painful experiences are used to enable you to have the compassion & empathy to most effectively minister to others somewhere down the line. I've been aware of this concept for years. It was just kind of comforting in a way to be reminded of this, in the midst of all the pain we're going through now.

On a side note, Denise's skin looks really good. Her face looks like a porcelaine doll's (but more tan... her color's actually pretty good considering what she's been through). It was brought to my attention that the fever was pretty dry for a long time... sort of had the same effect as going to a spa in Palm Springs. And with all the antibiotics, fungicides, and other drugs she's been on, any organisms that even *thought* of turning into pimples ran away, wetting their pants in fear.

Thanks again for all the cards & emails to Denise's room. I've got every single one posted, and we've just got one more wall to cover. Thanks especially for the prayers. I think we're *completely* covered in that respect.