VERY low blood pressure

First the downer stuff from today: I just left the hospital tonight and Denise's heart rate did lower to the 112-120 range. But her blood pressure is REALLY low, like 58/37 at one point tonight (about the best I saw today was 82/43). Very scary. The two meds that were administered to lower the heart rate (and increase blood flow) have been discontinued because the blood pressure is way too low. Denise expressed to the nurse tonight that she was scared. She's been saying that more over the past week. I must admit that while I try to be encouraging and point out all the progress and things to be optimistic about, I find it hard to be encouraged by what I'm saying to her sometimes. She got up to 103.9 last night and was about 102 when I left tonight. I heard from the nurse that the infectious disease doctor switched the antibiotic from Primaxin to something else because the pseudomonas infection is resistant to the Primaxin. For those that would ask, I forgot to get the name of the new antibiotic. So there are some pretty scary things going on right now.

Now for the good stuff: I turned 35 today. You might be asking why that's not listed in the "downer" paragraph. But it was really nice. They sent me out of the room to "clean Denise up." When I returned and opened the curtains, Denise had a teddy bear, a balloon boquet, and a couple cards. A bunch of nurses were in the room and everyone wished me a happy birthday. They deflated the cuff on Denise's tracheostomy and she was able to say "Happy birthday" to me. The card from Denise had writing that looked almost normal. The nurses also had a signed card for me. Denise was able to tell the staff to get my favorite pie & ice cream and organized a couple other things. Pretty impressive, I must say. She was fairly alert in the afternoon, which was also nice. Yesterday one of the teachers from work dropped off a goodie bag for me that all the other teachers & students put together. That was really helpful & encouraging to me (thank you all VERY much! I'm overwhelmed!). Today my friend from Tennessee that's visiting me invited a bunch of his friends over to my house (they happen to be my friends, too). So it was sort of a reunion for him, and a birthday party for me (I wasn't there most of the time because I was visiting Denise so much). At one point as the party was winding down, a car caught fire down at the end of my block. According to a witness, a drunk driver caused an accident, drove away, and finally got out of his car on my street as it was burning. Fortunately, it wasn't anyone from the shindig at my place.

I also had a few people go with me to visit Denise today. The support was good. On the way home tonight, one of my friends said that the blog was good for her & her husband. Each entry sparks a conversation about what they'd do if they were in my situation. The book I'm reading had a quote from Nietzsche that said "It is not so much the suffering as the senselessness of it that is unendurable." So hearing how the blog is helping a couple connect adds some sense to what Denise & I are going through right now.

I just got a call from the hospital to go over because Denise's blood pressure's low and not coming up. So here I go. Keep us in your prayers.